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Disregard Females, Acquire Magic
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News (2014-07-24): Rules Revision Update

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 No.60837 [Reply]

Who is the oldest wizard here?
60 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


In a year you will become a Grand wizard bro


File: 1406584270593.jpg (1.04 MB, 1456x2592, IMG_20140728_172916447.jpg)

I'm 38.
I figure the best way to prove it is my old games; I have Doom 1 and Lemmings on floppy disks too but I can't find them.
I bought these with my second computer when I started living on my own. I was a youthful 24 year old kid who loved video games and hadn't yet had sex.
Now I'm an old 38 year old man who loves various introverted hobbies and hasn't yet had sex.
The only wisdom I have is that if you don't grow up when you're young, you never will.


How has life been for you wizbro?
How should i deal with my own life?


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>tfw you could be my father
>my father is 41

Can I call you "dad" ?


You know, it hasn't been awful considering everything.
I've never had friends, KV, depression, etc. but I've had a stable job which I like and since I don't spend money on women or friends I have a ton to spend on all of my tech desires. My brother has kids, so my parents don't put pressure on me to find a wife anymore.
Also, it's truly amazing to see how far computers and video games have come along in my time. I suppose it feels like while everyone my age brags about how their kid lost a tooth, my kid can fit his old hard drive onto a tiny USB.
One thing that kills me is that the computer world was once a place for nerds (real fucking nerds) and deviants like us only to be ruined by the same people who make the real world such an awful place. Though this is a sentiment held by most of us here.

>How should i deal with my own life?

I can't provide a specific answer because I don't know the details, so forgive me for a generic answer:
Follow your passions to what you are capable of. In my case, a social life was impossible so I focused on my career and introvert hobbies. Normal people put a lot of time and money into maintaining their social life. We are largely advantaged in this aspect. If you can't get a job to make money, sucks for you and if you don't want a job, apply for autismbux.
Feel free. I'll feel free to pretend you're Chino.

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 No.62609 [Reply]

>going to uni
>studying economics
>soon becoming an expert at liberating goyim from their hard-earned shekels

Is /wiz/ going to university?

What are you studying?

Is it fun?

Do you think you'll get a good-paying job to realise your wizardreams?


I'm studying computer science

it's ok and I'm somewhat talented, but I don't particularly like it

no idea what I will do with my useless half-assed degree later in life


Is this the normalfag general?
epic jew meem


No, this is the prospective richfag general.

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 No.62536 [Reply]

What are some accessible suicide methods?
9 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


I'd imagine a sailor dive from a sufficiently high building would be pretty efficient as well. Bonus points for hilarity.


Helium works so long as your helium source is pure.
Doesn't have to be helium. Can be nitrogen or argon. Or any mixture of nitrogen argon and helium.
You can get actual tanks from welding suppliers. Not cheap, and you need a bunch of pressure regulating equipment (well I say a bunch, but like a thing) so you can get a output pressure that won't be ridiculously high.

The idea with asphyxiation with inert gases like this is to breathe the gas instead of oxygen. The gas goes in your lungs and when you breathe out, it takes the CO2 with it. The urge to breathe comes from the CO2 levels in your blood. If you're breathing out CO2 then your body is tricked into thinking that you're fine. The special thing about pure inert gas is that it also takes the oxygen out of your blood too- so when this oxygenless blood reaches your brain, it just BAM, knocks you out. Your brain just shuts off immediately since there's no oxygen in the blood to sustain it.
You keep breathing nothing but the inert gas and your brain will just have no oxygen at all for a while. It's the same as if your heart just stopped- your brain isn't getting anything. But your body thinks everything is normal since you're breathing. Your breathe rate won't even increase since that's all CO2 based.

The aim is to breathe nothing put pure helium(or nitrogen, argon) for at least 4 minutes. You'll be out cold in 30 seconds and dead within 2 minutes, but aiming for 4 is a good idea.

Look up accidents in nitrogen rooms, and liquid nitrogen spill accidents.

You could just recreate a liquid nitrogen spill accident too, same principle.

What won't work is dry ice. It's carbon dioxide so your body will reject it.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.




Charcoal burning is one that works.
1. It's slow.
2. CO poisoning is easily treatable (if you get treatment/forced to get treatment)

How this one works is you burn charcoal in a low oxygen environment (roaring fire = bad, smoldering coals = good), to generate carbon monoxide. Carbon monoxide binds to your haemoglobin iron centres and blocks oxygen from forming. Since you still breathe out CO2, you won't notice that you're breathing it in.
Anyway, small amounts are continuously generated, and you want to fill your entire bloodstream with CO molecules, so your brain is terminally deprived of oxygen. Oxygen doesn't reach brain.
It's a slow poison. You sit in a room with CO in it until you accumulate enough in your blood for it to make you fall unconscious, and then it keeps accumulating until you die. This takes hours. And you will feel very light headed for a while.

Don't do it in a completely unventilated area like a taped-up room. You want some ventilation, but just enough to keep the fire smoldering. Bad ventilation, not no ventilation.

Same process as car exhaust deaths (Use one without a catalytic converter, I think these don't exist any more). It'd pump CO into the car/garage until person dies.

You could grab a lawnmower or motorcycle engine and use the exhaust from that to provide your CO source. WOULD BE A LOT LOUDER.


I'm still a proponent of jumping from a height. Buy one of those parachute jumping sessions and simply don't open the parachute. You'll get to fly and see a beautiful scenery before you die, too.

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 No.62460 [Reply]

I had an idea of having a wizard themed powerviolence band

here's what the tracklist would look like

chadXcrusher - s/t
1. anxious fucker
2. eat shit cool guy
3. wage slave
4. tfw powerviolence
5. sad frog just wanted a pepsi
6. beniscore :-DDD
7. crushing chads is my business
8. overweight and angry
9. dakimakurape
10. god hates everyone
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
25 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


I would like a militant wizardcore band.

With classic songs like.

Wizard Pride
Blood and Mana
Kill a Normie for Mommy
Black Spell Of Destruction (Burzum cover)
Discipline Through Abstinence
Failed Normie, Failed Wizard


Every black metal band ever.


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Kill a Normie for Mommy



File: 1406584694730.jpg (75.96 KB, 413x500, 1shhzmy2.wizardchan.dddddd.jpg)

>this thread


>30 years of fapping and tears
that one's pretty poetic

would make a good song

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 No.55320 [Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Now that the Elliot Rodger shooting has gone quiet, is it ok to discuss about your favorite normalfag slayer again? We are not dangerous and none of us will harm anyone, so why not take our wizardrage and use it to discuss about the social rejects(like us) who took their sweet revenge against this shitty normie society? If any normalfag troll reading this, FUCK you! This is what the future holds for scums like you! Remember what goes around, comes around! A social revolution is coming normiescums! Anyway feel free to post your favorite shooter and why you chose him. Moralfags and white kinghts NOT wanted on this discussion.
205 posts and 35 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


File: 1406567120943.jpg (28.78 KB, 281x352, Mass_Murderer_Michael_Ryan.jpg)

Michael Ryan
British hero who gunned down 16 normalfags. RIP Hero


File: 1406567383596.jpg (8.75 KB, 173x171, patrick-sherrill-000.jpg)

Patrick Sherrill
Archwizard who gunned down 14 normalfags. RIP Hero


File: 1406567729433.jpg (17.97 KB, 266x320, David Gray_(murderer).jpg)

David Malcolm Gray an antisocial and unemployed loner who people despised and rejected. Gunned down 13 normalfags and then commited suicide.
RIP Hero


File: 1406568200465.jpg (11.23 KB, 275x360, GeorgeHennard.jpg)

George Hennard, antisocial loner and hated women with passion, gunned down 23 before he commited suicide. RIP Hero


This thread is so deppressing and sad, why is this fucking world so cruel and evil :_:

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 No.62680 [Reply]

Sup /wiz/, I'm considering buying a suit. Already looked around and was thinking about this one. What do you guys think?



If you're going to buy a suit you might as well go the extra step and buy a fitted suit. I'd recommend just walking into a suit store, Mens Warehouse is decent. They'll guide you in the right direction.


Do you know anything about the prices they charge? Currently I was planning to spend max 200$ish. I never owned a suit before.



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 No.62112 [Reply]

How often do you daydream? What do you daydream about? I'm fairly imaginative but I can't often focus so daydreaming isn't as good as it could be. Do your daydreams take place in a certain place?
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.


I don't daydream all that much anymore because mild internet addiction.

I really should sit outside for a couple of hours and let my mind wander…


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Yes, sometimes 10 hours a day. I daydream about being the god emperor of mankind. It's a very sophisticated daydream. I spent about 3 years on it. Probably enough material to make multiple movies out of it.

It also has a medieval version that I use when I get bored of sci-fi. But it's not as fleshed out.



That's cool. I should come up with an elaborate scenario like that. Mostly I just fantasize about having various superpowers and being a literal wizard.

>tfw actually wished to be a wizard when I was a kid

>didn't even believe in magic either, but fantasy novels were always my favorite and I would always pick magic using classes when playing vidya

Wow, look at this dream coming true.


I daydream about time control powers. I've been doing it since I was in school. I'd daydream about stopping time and doing lewd things.
Or self-inserting myself into various fictional universes with this power, and applying creative ways to abuse the flow of time- like stopping time for blocks of air in the shape of a staircase below me and I could just climb frozen air stairs into the sky or some shit.


This, kinda.
I always daydream about being an important, interesting person, someone who created something like a book or a game or a movie. People would stop me at the streets just to tell me how they love my work and how it changed their lives. Must be awesome to be talented and respected. My opinions would matter.

Then I wake up, I'm a fucking jobless, dense nobody again, not good enough to pack shelves.

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 No.61039 [Reply]

Good wizardly feels
>tfw just bought a mechanical keyboard so will be able to effortlessly make really long posts on wizardchan
19 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


currently using a corsair k60 mx reds
could have gotten something nicer but now when i type on rubber domes it feels like shit
I can tell you it is a nice key board easy to clean and the aluminum face plate is nice but not the nicest feel great for double tapping though


OP here again, maybe things aren't so bad - cleaned the keyboard and left it to dry, it's working fine now. Thanks God.


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A life of ups and downs



Just enough excitement in our wizard lives.


Did you get an MX Blue or MX Brown?

I'm going to type primarily, but I may want to game on shit like Hawken (if I can get through my damn government firewall, anyway). The nose of MX Blues also seem to be a factor.

Wish I could just visit a tech store and try typing on both…

Anyone want to weigh in?

YouTube Embed: Click to Play

 No.62663 [Reply]

I like to sing "normies gonna norm" over some catchy songs while I'm watching normies having fun in places such as pools, beaches, parks and so on. I find it hilarious when observing families, couples or chads and betas orbiting around succubi.

For example, with this classic at 0:25 sec I sing something like:
no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-nonò, normies gonna norm [head dance].

Am I retarded?


This post made me laugh out loud, not in a mocking way but in utter admiration. Thanks OP, I have found my new hobby.



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 No.62503 [Reply]

Any other wizards get high? Why/why not? Heroin is great, makes me feel so good and motivated to do things/talk to people/go to work/etc. Life is so much better on heroin.

I wish i could always be high.
42 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Yes but why are you doing this here? Wizards are pretty much apathetic to drugs. We aren't a bastion of DARE neither are we drug users. You sound like some normie from 420chan. If you feel like you have to find some people to convince to get addicted, go shitpost on 4chad or something.

Also, you think that you're some supercool drug user who's showing other people how cool drugs are but most people here don't give a shit one way or another.


I don't have much experience with drugs but I have taken tramadol(a synthetic opiate), best fucking feeling in the world, like you're walking on the clouds. I actually TALKED to people while on it, I talked, and I had opinions and conversations and feelings and I felt good and happy about what I was doing and I actually wanted to like other people. I seriously recommend tramadol to any wizards with crippling anxiety, it's great and I actually felt normal for the week I was on it


I have done heroin
Stole it from my junkie sister, snorted because no clean needles and she has HPV



Shitposting is my heroin


Maybe you are right. I will refrain from pressing this subject further.

Perhaps I was agitated by
>the majority of drug users are normies.

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 No.62581 [Reply]

>Tfw ebola will never spread to the west and kill all the extrovert normalfags
>Wizards will never inherit the earth
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


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EIDF detected


I was going by wikipedia.
But if that's true, then shit son.

Bring on the fucking ebola.

My previous comment still is important though; if you heard of an outbreak, then so have the people doing the quarantining. Ideally what you want to hear is ebola outbreaks in several different countries in many different places in the country at roughly the same time.
You want to hear about it after it's too late for quarantine.
Of course, this would cause mass panic.
Which is why you stockpile food.

Stockpiling food is the answer to everything.



>Canadian scientists have shown that the deadliest form of the ebola virus could be transmitted by air between species

>"What we suspect is happening is large droplets - they can stay in the air, but not long, they don't go far," he explained. "But they can be absorbed in the airway and this is how the infection starts, and this is what we think, because we saw a lot of evidence in the lungs of the non-human primates that the virus got in that way."


File: 1406560173119.jpg (108.58 KB, 1443x657, 1077 modded.JPG)

would it be possible to escape with a tent, sleeping bag and a backpack and live for a while?


The Reston outbreak (described in The Hot Zone) was an extremely lucky fluke. A strain of ebola that could be transmitted through the air got into the United States, but for some reason it couldn't infect humans and just killed a bunch of macaques. If that shit had infected the monkey handlers, it would have been all over.

As long as humans keep being stupid, greedy fucks and keep pushing into the rain forests and keeping livestock, it is just a matter of time before some kind of outbreak tears through the population.

If you know how to survive in somewhere like the Alaskan bush, that would probably be your best bet.
The last place you want to be is in a city or town or anywhere like that. Part of what is making the current ebola outbreak so bad is that people are literally too dumb to live and keep doing things like "rescuing" infected people from the hospital and taking them back home, where everyone in the village then gets sick.

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 No.52851 [Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Do you have a sister? What is it like?
I've always wondered if I'd be less of a sperg if I had a sister, but I can't imagine having a girl, let alone a cute one in the same house as me constantly.
97 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


I have one, she has all the social skills, younger but yet married, a child and a stable couple (11 years I think now) we are not very close, if not close at all.


I have a big sister, she is some kind of basic slut. Very rarely talk.


I have a little sister, she's a piece of shit. We weren't ever particularly close growing up, probably because I'm socially inept and her IQ is something like 40-50 points lower than mine.

I haven't seen or heard from her in nearly five years, I've more or less cut off all communication with my family, outside of my parents calling once a month to check up on me.


I have two older sisters, although they are both fucked up in their own ways due to being girls it's quite easy for them to fit into society.

The eldest sister is a landwhale, despite my parents paying for her stomach staple - she still manages to be massively obese. She has 3 kids from two separate fathers and lives on their hands outs and every benefit she can from the government. She's barely ever worked her whole life, she is a female NEET; as much as a female can ever be one when life is handed to them with a pink bow on due to having a vagina.

She still gets dates even though she 40 obese with the most boring personality, incredibly ignorant and stupid and has 3 kids.
Not just dates with dropouts either, with successful professional types. It blows my mind how desperate these men must be. She is an utter scumbag, she had her dog put down because she is too lazy to walk the poor thing. Her kids are fucked up from neglect, since she's zoned out on meds most of the time. Her house is like one of those extreme hoarder shows. She's 'too busy' to ever clean up. I can't stand to be in the same room as her, she still has the nerve to look down at me. Ofc all my family think she is wonderful, due to her having kids that makes her a amazing human being.

My younger sister is the exact opposite, but I don't see her much due to her living abroad. She's the only one who's ever helped me much, and tried her best with me. She's basically a mpdg, very inspiring to be around and has ended up with a bunch of cunts as boyfriends over the years despite her deserving far better. She has shit taste in men for some reason.


Is it you that is intelligent or is your little sister retarded? Or a bit of both?

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 No.62295 [Reply]

Hello, /wiz/,

Is it true that you can't get Social Security Disability if you've never worked? Is there any way around this? What other assistance programs are there in America besides temporary cash assistance, food stamps, and medicaid?

I don't see how I can live off of the $700 monthly I'd get for SSI, but I've never been able to work to get the SSDI money because I'm fucking disabled. I can't find any way to make this work, and in a couple weeks, I will have to live on my own.

Picture unrelated.
14 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


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>Doesn't help I'm forced to wear a collar.
You some type of sub son?



No, I'm a Caucasian who's entire body is almost covered in red patches. This shits been going on for years I've been trying to find ways to finally stop it.

Steroids won't help since they only solve the Problem temporarily.

What sucks is that I could have gotten a job at the library a year ago had my mom not been so worried about my eczema.



Hey baggerbro.

I worked as one for a little over a month, at an upper-class (read: overpriced as shit) grocery store in a rich kike community. I ended up having to quit because my astigmatism was making me too dizzy to stand around all day and bag. The cunt manager just threatened me until I agreed to quit.

I don't even bother to try go and find work because I know that I'm defective as fuck and will just lose the job.



I feel I'm at a point where they could fire me. Then again, it could just be me being really negative but I at least have a reason to worry.

Honestly, I do better when I'm doing stuff like cleaning and moping. I was even told by one of the…co-managers (however you call them) that places I clean have never been done by others (e.g. The countertop of the lounge room). But they could easily fire me and get someone else to do my job since at the end of the day, bagging takes up 90% of my job and if I'm fucking that up! then that's it.

I feel as though most minimum wage jobs arnt fit for those on the autism spectrum. Giving that and how you can appairently earn MORE gettign autismbux than getting a shitty job makes me wonder if I should bother getting one. I know there's the whole experience thing but couldn't you just lie about your job experience if it's for some crappy job?



Don't they check what you spend your money on? I'd imagine they'd cut you off if they discover 90% of your funds go into vidya and gaming materials.

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 No.62511 [Reply]

>Succubi have an excuse to dress slutty at comic-con
>Complain about being "groped, followed and unwillingly photographed"
>Toni Darling, a 24-year-old model who was dressed as Wonder Woman on Saturday, said the issue goes way beyond Comic-Con
>"I don't think it has anything to do with cosplay or anything to do with costumes"
>"People who are the kind of people who are going to take a photo of you when you're not looking from behind are going to do that regardless, whether you're in costume or not."
>3 cunts form petition called "Geeks for CONsent"
>implying you succubi didn't dress like slutty characters just to be admired and photographed in the first place in a male dominated event

11 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


>invade somebody else's safe space
>complain when the don't treat you right
Thank you SJWs for introducing me to the term "safe space". There are so many ways to apply it to the practices of feminists.


> unwillingly photographed
Yeah, fucking evil sexual harassers, taking photos when you're not looking…
Wait…taking photos when you're not looking?
Then how do you know they did?
And how exactly is it sexual harassment?

Ah, got it, they are fucking you in the place that hurts the most…your wallet, as you con whores only agree to be photographed if someone pays you for it.
It's a catch 22: if you dress sluty you get money and attention but have to put up with what you see as undesirables.
On the other hand if you dress like a normal person you won't get the undesirables, but you won't get the ego boost and the money either.
What is a cunt supposed to do?


Cosplayers are annoying faggots anyway.


Oh god they're treating men like dogs and handing out metaphorical newspaper slaps for behavior they don't like and treats for behavior they do like. They also don't have the courage to just say "please stop, you're making me uncomfortable" because they don't really have a leg to stand on there either….kinda silly to tell a guy to stop ogling you when you wear a metal bikini to a sausage-fest for attention.


But taking photos and filming is perfectly legal in public areas.

Bitches and whores.

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 No.62296 [Reply]

You wake up with seemly unlimited strenght, super speed at unknown degree, super human senses controlled at will (can look at the cells in your arm and hear things in other cities), flight power, eye lasers and cold breath.

You notice differences in your appearance: you look very strong and healthy and your body is very fit and flexible. If you had skin conditions or any health problem, they all disappeared with what appears to be your new healing factor. Acne, scars, back problems, chronic pains… they're are all gone. You also don't feel the need to eat, drink or sleep anymore, though you can do those if you want.

What do you think would happen if you underwent said transformation?
30 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


I would wear my underpants over my pants.


This man is afraid of dogs…


What type of soda would you ask for?
RC Cola?


I've never been that picky about soda to honest and drinking the same thing day in and day out would get boring, so I wouldn't mind variety. Can't stand most diet stuff though. I guess given the circumstances I could have standards and demand only name brands or some bizarre off brand. Was mostly thinking of things I'd still want to eat/drink despite not needing to, although I'd probably take care of most of that by looting most the victims and just buying it, I don't have expensive tastes. Not that I couldn't include other things in the summons (still thinking of what I'd make the chant/require as tribute).


How come? He wants to take their original purpose back. If you support dogs like those small ones with big heads, you are animal torturer. They are made born too early to keep them small, they have a lot of problems etc. Even some "normal" looking dogs have a lot of problems because of stupid breeding.

Only hunting dogs are the only real dogs.
>inb4 dogs are just wolfs xD
Wolfs tamed themselves for easy food back in year whoknows.

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